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Echidnas AudioLog
Transcript (Spoken by CanonJR, on LOMAT?) Guys, guys, you know the other me? The--the one who's a Waste but not a Waste. The--fuck, why are alt-selves so hard to talk about? Um... she's not the real me but the one who never... fuck, okay, the one who made SburbSim but didn't make SburbSim. The one who is a Waste but isn't a Waste. The one--the one who never has to wear stupid fucking pyjamas but still gets to be a Waste, okay? That one. The one not trapped in a death game slash whatever. The one who can't actually hack their own reality and break everything forever, okay? That one? I've been finding files from them. I mean, obviously, they--they fucking coded everything and so did I, paradoxically, but the point is I'm finding stuff that I know I didn't write--at least not yet--and I don't think it's future me because future me is way more of a smug asshole. Fuck, I'm rambling, um... Universes, okay? Fuck. Frog and raptor and bird and echidna and their siblings are... they're different paths forward from this fucking buggy session. The one that shouldn't exist, the one that never--never was meant to. That fucking Waste of Space never intended for anything like this, you get that, right? That's why the frog's still born, because there's no fucking (???) Space player to turn it on. And you know what? Roger Koon told me the other day that--you know what? I'm not gonna tell you what Roger Koon told me; he'll probably sue me. The point is, okay, it all makes sense. All of these fucking clues, all of the hints, all the fucking infuriating gigglesnort from my alt-self--it all adds up. Okay? So we've gone without frogs--they're stillborn, we can't do anything with them--okay? What comes next? Well, it sure as fuck ain't birds. There's no link--y'know--what came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, I'll fight anyone who says it wasn't the fucking--the fucking egg, because whatever laid that egg it wasn't a chicken, right? That's how evolution works and you're not gonna get from a frog... to a hhhhatchee, you know? Okay? God, I hate saying that. Okay, but you're not gonna get there. So there has to be something between there and you know what? Life--life finds a way, okay? Everything runs on bullshit memes and puns but it's--it's the fucking dinosaur. You fuckin'... even Malcolm told us up. No, it wasn't even Malcolm it was the old guy, wasn't it? Okay, whatever, the point is if you combine the genetic code of dinosaurs with frogs--or wasn't it purple frogs? Okay, maybe it makes less sense, then. The point is there's fucking dinosaurs, okay, the dinosaurs are the missing link. You can't--you can't just jump from a frog to a bird, something goes wrong. But the thing in-between? Even just a single generation, you get--you get that wiggle room, that leeway, it's... kinda makes sense. And then there's the one that doesn't--doesn't make sense. Uh, I still remember the first time I met YN, I... I am just amazed we were able to play cards instead of look at those abominations. The universe wasn't meant to be like that. I don't care what mythol... I don't care about the myths. I don't care about half-mammal half-reptile snake ladies--they're not snake ladies, they're not reptiles, they're... The only thing worse thing worse than them would be like a naked mole-rat or something but thank god alt-me decided not to run with that idea, okay? The echidnas is what I'm talking about here, the... that's not right. I don't--I don't wanna go to the timeline where that's what they bred, y'know? What would even happen next? What--what come out of something like that? I'm not gonna say horrorterrors; I know where horrorterrors come from. Paradoxically it's themselves, but, I mean, I wouldn't deny that an echidna could be a really specific kind of horrorterror, y'know? But... (Sighs) I think this is going on too long, I'm not supposed to go this long I... (Sighs) Look, just look into the echidnas, okay? Be safe. Don't... I'm not asking anybody to go into one, y'know? Just lemme know anything you know about them, anything you find out--even if it's just more shitty gigglesnort from my alt-self or, I mean... Kinda wondering if the fucker who stole my credit card has anything to talk about. At the very least, this website's been a pretty good place to just put information, I'll--I'll admit that. (Sighs) Be safe everyone. Signin' out. Category:AudioLog